Narrative Hijacking
When I talk with clients about inaccurate narratives I often present the idea using the terminology of a hijacked narrative. We discuss that everyone has a story. Individuals have their own story, as so do couples, families, and other groupings like institutions, races, cultures, and more. There is a whole ecosystem of narratives out there, and each level has its very own story.
Unfortunately, the stories which are told are not inherently accurate or truly reflective of those whom the stories are told about. It is natural that the first storytellers for each individual are their parents, their siblings, or other family members (e.g., grandparents). In a healthy family system, as the child grows and develops, they will take over more of their own storytelling and when they reach full development, they will have the majority of the authoring power for their own story. Problems can arise for the individual and the family when, for whatever reason, this transfer of storytelling doesn’t happen in a developmentally appropriate way.
This developmental timeline is not the only way that narrative hijacking occurs and a hijacked narrative is not unique to the individual level of narratives. Couple narratives can be hijacked, so can family narratives, the narratives of groups (e.g., minority populations) and even the narratives of macrosystems like institutions or cultures. There are a variety of ways that external narrative hijacking happens and it occurs whenever someone other than the individual, couple, family, or group gets too much control over a narrative that is not theirs.
Narrative hijacking can also occur from within the couple, family, or group, such as when one person is disproportionately authoring the story for everyone. For example, one partner can disproportionately control a couple’s narrative. This disproportional control causes distress for the couple around trying to simultaneously navigate their incongruent narrative landscapes, especially for the partner who lacks storytelling power.
It is important to note that though most couples and families have a narrative spokesperson, this is not synonymous with the person who has the most authoring power in the couple or family. That is, the person who most often retells or discusses the narrative may not be the person who created it. As a result, sometimes what looks like an internally hijacked narrative is in reality an externally hijacked narrative that is being regurgitated by the narrative spokesperson.
In truth, the ability to hijack a narrative appears to be based on systems of power, which are often derived from society’s dominant discourse. Thus, children are vulnerable to having narratives hijacked by parents, students by teachers, congregants by pastors, and so forth. This phenomenon extends further for minority individuals. Minority groups are vulnerable to having their narratives hijacked by politicians and the political system (e.g., Black men by police officers and the criminal justice system, trans people by a mental health system that would label them disordered, poor people by those who have money, and more). Regardless of how narrative hijacking comes to exist, problems can arise for individuals, couples, and families whenever a narrative has been hijacked.